Grounds for Divorce

Question: 

My wife has been taking medications over the past few years to include Xanax and Lexapro. She also had a hysterectomy in Sept. 2008 so she was on hormone replacement and she has a low thyroid so she was taking medication for that. This past July 4th weekend, she had a religous conversion and has stopped taking all of her meds, cut them off cold turkey. She has turned completely "cold" towards me. There hasn't been any intimacy since a couple of weeks before the 4th. It is now Sept. 5th (4 days before our anniversary). Her reasons for the lack of intimacy (and I am not just talking about a sexual relationship, there is no hugging, hardly any touching, and when I do kiss her it's like kissing a doll or a dead fish) is that she is concentrating on building her relationship with God. I am also a Christian, but some of her thinking and beliefs are not in line with Biblical Christianity, in fact I consider them blasphemous. Her daughters (ages 22 and 24) also have real problems with her to the point of telling her that "you are not my mom, I don't know who you are". As a Christian I know that Divorce is only acceptable when there is sexual immorality commited by one of the persons. I guess my question is, What grounds can I use to disolve the marriage? She is making me miserable, I really believe she has true mental problems, she has distanced herself from me, and it feels like I am living with a roommate. She recently has been sleeping on the couch because she says that our room is too warm, you can hang meat in our bedroom. Yesterday I received the proceeds from a sale of a property that was willed to me by my grandmother. I opened a savings account in my name, then informed the wife what I did. She pretty much guilted me into going to the bank with her this morning to add her to the account. While there, the banker commented on her nice ring, it was not the ring I put on her ring finger on our wedding day, it was something she bought off HSN. She would never take off that ring in the past. She blamed me because last night we fought about the fact that she is wearing some other ring closer to her heart, then her wedding ring. I commented that she may as well take off the wedding ring because that finger is "designed" to hold only one type of ring. Speaking of the Home Shopping Network, I received 16,000 dollars from my employer to move to Arkansas back at the beginning of July. She has burned thru that to where we have been in the negative for the last few weeks. HELP! (AR)

State: 
Arkansas
Answer: 

Wow! You have a lot going on. I think you already know that I am going to tell you that adding your wife to the inheritance account was not wise. However, in many states, if you can "trace" money that you inherited, a court will continue to view it as separate property. DO NOT COMMINGLE THE INHERITED MONEY ACCOUNT WITH YOUR OTHER MONEY. Also, it sounds like you are concerned about the debt that your wife is running up. The sooner you file for divorce, the sooner you can get restraining orders against that type of behavior. My advice is to find a qualified attorney in your state and begin proceedings immediately to protect your financial interests. - Wendy Jaffe, ESQ.

Wendy Jaffe and Divorce.com can only provide general information about divorce. DO NOT RELY ON MS. JAFFE'S ADVICE ALONE. Before acting on information provided by Ms. Jaffe or by Divorce.com, talk to an attorney first about your particular facts and the law of your state. By submitting your question to Divorce.com, you are not creating an attorney/client relationship with Ms. Jaffe or with any of the other attorneys listed on this site.

Thank you Wendy. Since my last entry... She proceeded to move into the spare bedroom. On our anniversary, Sept. 9th, I bought her a white gold and saphire cross and a really nice card to go with it. Her reaction was indifference at best and she kept saying, "you shouldn't have done that, I didn't get you anything". I came home on the 10th to find that all the pictures she had bought or she had before our marriage were taken down from the walls. All of her little knick-knacks were gone from the shelves and bookcases. She then proceeded to move them into a small storage unit here in town. On Sept. 14th she suggested that we get a legal separation and that she would need some money until she "got on her feet". On Sept. 16th, she said that she wanted to work things out and restore our marriage. She moved back into the bedroom, pulled all of "her things" out of storage, and put them back in the house. Today, Sept. 25th she called me at work and for the first time in a few months said, "I just wanted to call and tell you that I love you". For 3 months she had only said, "I love you, too" and half heartedly at that. Thank you again for your time and counsel... I will have to wait and see if things swing back the other way...

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